JBHD's In Flight Omake Collection
by justbehappydammit
Summary: These are the Omakes I did for gabriel blessing's fic In Flight.  As if it wasn't obvious from the title.
1. Chapter 1  Shirou's Very Awkward Day

Here's my take on what Shirou's most awkward day ever was like. Keep in mind, I have no idea what life is like in the Clock Tower, so I just went with sort of a university/library vibe. I hope you enjoy!

**Shirou's Very Awkward Day**

"Oh, Shi~rou!"

I tried to not tremble in terror at the tone of Rin's voice. I knew from experience that a sing-song lilt rarely meant good news. How she managed to make a noise normally associated with cuteness and joy sound like a death sentence was a mystery to me. If I was lucky, she would turn out to be merely pissed off by something, possibly involving Saber or me. She'd yell at me for a while, boss me around for a bit, maybe even give me a punch or a kick, then she'd storm off indignantly with that oh-so-adorable pout of hers on her face.

If I was _un_lucky, well...let's just say getting kicked in the nuts would be preferable to the teasing that she would unleash upon me.

Taking deep breaths to calm myself, I refused to look up from my book. Looking up would just be playing into her hands. Plus, refusing to look at her while talking to her might increase the chances of her yelling at me, rather than teasing me.

"Yes, Master?" I inquired politely, keeping even the slightest hint of fear out of my voice. I almost never referred to Rin by name while on the Clock Tower campus, and even when I did, I made sure my voice showed only the highest respect toward her. Despite the fact that our relationship as lovers was more or less an open secret, I still strove to keep up appearances that the two of us were nothing more than master and apprentice. It was kind of an unspoken deal: As long as we acted professionally within the Clock Tower itself, the magi would pretend they didn't know about our…"extracurricular activities".

I tried not to shiver as my choice of phrasing brought certain memories of the three of us to the surface of my thoughts. Deep breaths, Shirou, deep breaths.

As my "Master", Rin had a bit more leeway in terms of how she could act toward me around other magi. She called me by name fairly often, though she would switch to "apprentice" in more formal situations. Regardless, I needed to pay attention, lest I accidentally agree to be her half-naked manservant for a week. Again.

"Shirou, why aren't you looking at me while I'm talking to you?" she asked in a falsely innocent voice. It was a tone that promised great suffering if I didn't do what she wanted immediately. Reluctantly, I slowly turned around.

"Well, I was looking up some more runes, seeing if there were any that would work better for my 'project'" — the code word for anything related to my wards, since part of their effectiveness was reliant on them being underestimated, or my Reality Marble — "and I didn't want to lose my place…" I trailed off as I noticed that Rin was hiding something behind her back. I kept myself focused on her face, however, as I knew that whatever she was hiding would be bad news for me. Maybe if I acted like I didn't see anything, she wouldn't bring it up.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know I got you a present!"

Damn it.

I forced a smile onto my face. "Oh really? Did you come all the way here just to tell me that?"

"No, stupid Shirou," she admonished, her patent-pending Rin Tohsaka Scary Smile gracing her features, "I came here to _show_ you."

"Really, you don't have to do this," I said through clenched teeth.

"I know. That's what makes me so nice." That's when she pulled out her surprise from behind her back. "Here you go, what you've always wanted!"

I stared for several seconds. Then, I acted on pure instinct. I knocked the thing out of her hands. That wasn't enough, however. She could simply pick it up again. To get rid of it for sure, I needed to destroy it utterly.

I Traced an ordinary sword. I had no desire to sully the reputation of any of my named blades. I raised it above my head and swung.

"Die, abomination! Die, die, diediediediediediediedie!" Each word was punctuated with a slash of my sword.

"SHIROU!" Rin barked out.

"WHAT?" I snarled, a wild look in my eyes. That's when I realized where I was. I was in one of the Clock Tower's several libraries. I was in a reading area between the rows of books. There were at least 30 magi staring at me.

And I had just destroyed a strap-on with a materialized sword.

…

I was _**NEVER**_ going to live this down.


	2. Chapter 2 Explosive Runes

I have no regrets. This is the only path off the top of my head.

**Explosive Runes**

...

The battle with the Fraga magus had been going on for some time now, and neither of us had managed to gain the advantage over the other. I dodged yet another blow that would have killed me if it had connected as I furiously tried to come up with a plan. Then I remembered something I had prepared in case of an emergency. This definitely qualified.

Now how best to do this?

I found my chance after I was punched through the fence. Again.

As the Fraga started to charge at me, I held up a hand. "Ah, one moment, please."

The opposing magus was so surprised that I would actually say such a thing, she nearly tripped onto her face from her own forward momentum. I knew that if I didn't explain myself quickly, she'd recover and charge me again anyway.

"Could you deliver this letter to Rin Tohsaka of the Clock Tower, in the event of my capture or death?" I asked politely, pulling out a roll of paper as I did so.

The woman stared at me with intense scrutiny. "Is this a joke?"

"No, I'm serious. I even swear on my life not to start any magecraft until after you've put away the letter," I said in a solemn tone of voice.

She continued staring at me, searching for any hint of deception. Eventually satisfied, she walked up to me and took the paper out of my hand. She looked at the parchment, obviously curious as to what letter would be worth risking a deadly attack to deliver.

The message itself was brief. It was only six words, in fact.

"I prepared explosive Runes this morning."

The rest of the paper was covered in Ansuz and Tiwaz runes.

I had been completely serious about not starting any magecraft until after she had put away the letter. I had said nothing about _finishing _magecraft, however.

The Fraga looked up at me. I said only two words.

"Ansuz. Tiwaz."

She gave me a wry smile. "You magnificent, cheeky son of a-"

BOOM!


	3. Chapter 3 Sekirei Box

**Sekirei Box**

...

"Shirou-san, look! A strong opponent!"

I ignored Musubi's eagerness to fight and focused solely on the two people in front of me. The main reason I did so was because I was fairly certain that, despite my attempts at retaining a friendly atmosphere, this meeting was going to end in a fight. You should never take your eyes off of your opponent, after all.

The other reason was because I wasn't in my battle mindset yet, and seeing the shrine girl's bouncing would probably be harmful to my composure.

I took in the appearance of the male of the pair. He was a mostly ordinary-looking guy, around high-school age, somewhat taller than average with a lean, yet muscular frame. His hair was light brown, and was slightly spiky, though it mostly hung down. He was wearing a black uniform with the jacket open, revealing the jersey underneath it, probably in an attempt to look cool. His facial features were fair yet sharp, with piercing blue eyes and a frown that seemed almost permanently stuck on his face. All in all, he appeared to be a normal student, albeit a punkish one.

The girl looked far more interesting. She also had a black uniform jacket on, but unlike the guy's jacket, which I suspected would be somewhat loose even if it were closed, hers hugged her body, showing off her rather stunning figure. It also displayed far more of her impressive cleavage than I suspected was normally allowed. This was paired with a short blue skirt. Her brown eyes had an air of innocent determination, though they seemed to hide a sense of calculating intelligence even beyond that. The smile on her face gave the impression that she was almost as excited to have the chance to fight as Musubi was.

Perhaps her most outstanding feature, aside from the obvious, was her long _naturally blue_ hair, which seemed to gleam in the sunlight. I peripherally noted that she had a long tuft of it in the front that stuck up and curved down, also similar to Musubi.

Based on these observations, plus what I knew about the alien species that had taken roost in this city, namely the extreme male-to-female ratio, their natural beauty, and their tendency to have unusual dressing habits, I would assume that the lady was a Sekirei and the young man next to her was her Ashikabi.

Good thing, then, that I knew better.

"Medaka Kurokami, and Sekirei No. 98, Zenkichi," I recited almost tonelessly. "Zenkichi is a power type, with knowledge of a variety of fighting styles, including tae-kwon-do, karate, jujitsu, and savate. Medaka is the Student Council President at Hakoniwa Academy, known for being good at just about everything, and has the ability to copy and perfect the skills of her opponents, though this doesn't seem to apply to Sekirei abilities."

Zenkichi's eyes widened at the depth of my knowledge about the two of them, as did Medaka's. The girl had another reaction, however, one that surprised me: Her smile grew bigger.

"Congratulations, Ashikabi-san. You are the first person to correctly identify me as the Ashikabi at the first meeting, not counting the director, of course." She put a finger to her lips in a thoughtful expression. "I still don't understand why every member of the Plan we've met automatically assumes I'm a Sekirei, though."

"It's probably because there are so few male Sekirei, Medaka-chan," the man explained. I could tell he knew that there were several other _big _reasons for the mistaken identity, though he wisely did not point these out.

"Anyway, you're quite knowledgeable, Ashikabi-san," she praised as she went back to smiling. "It reminds me of my sister."

"Why thank y–" I began.

"I hate my sister!" the ace girl declared in a tone that was altogether far too cheerful.

"Well, in that case, my apologies," I smoothly transitioned.

"Don't worry about it, Swords-san," she replied. I froze as the implications of her words sank in. "Man, I never thought I'd run into the dreaded Ashikabi of Swords while out shopping, though."

"Ashikabi of Swords?" I asked, my mouth feeling dry as I tried to stay calm. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Medaka frowned. "The package on your back is your swords. Most people wouldn't be able to tell through those wrappings, but I can see that they're a pair of curved short-swords. Not only that, but you sensed us approaching, didn't you?" Now my eyes were the ones that were widening. "Before you saw us, I saw you stiffen and twitch. I don't know whether you sensed our intention to fight, or if you can maybe sense Sekirei, but you knew we were there without even looking at us. And then, when you ran, you ran not so that you could get away, but to get out of the public eye."

My hands itched to draw my blades as all my senses screamed that the girl in front of me was dangerous. She was right, of course. I smelled her Sekirei before they got close and dashed for New Osaka Park so that the apparently inevitable fight wouldn't happen where people could see us. Since Zenkichi was a power type, and a fist fighter at that, he smelled slightly similar to Musubi.

The difference being that, whereas Musubi's scent made me think of a bear, Zenkichi reminded me of an especially fierce dog, or maybe even a wolf.

"I don't suppose you'll let me simply go on my way, would you? I just wanted to buy some groceries, you know."

"With a pair of swords?" the man asked with a slight wry grin, half incredulously, half amused, and _all _sarcastically.

"These are dangerous times. You can never be too careful," I returned just as dryly.

"No way!" the ace exclaimed excitedly. She pointed at me, with her other hand on her hip. "As a danger to Shin Tokyo, and by my power as Student Council President of Hakoniwa Academy, I, Medaka Kurokami, will bring you to justice!"

Overall, the effect disturbingly reminded me of how my sister had declared she would free me from the non-existent evil overlords whom she believed had brainwashed me into being a ruthless killer. I got the feeling that this girl, much like my sister, lived in her own world that was somewhat detached from reality.

The eyeroll her Sekirei performed at her passionate, shonen manga-esque statement, seemed to support that hypothesis.

"Akitsu," I said to the ice maiden that stood dutifully on my other side, "stay out of this."

I may be using the wild rumors about me to my advantage, but that didn't mean I wanted to confirm in my opponent's eyes my reputation for using my Sekirei to gang up on opponents. Besides, I doubted Musubi would appreciate someone butting in on her fight.

"Understood, Ashikabi-sama," I heard her reply, and if I hadn't already entered "battle mode", I would have likely sighed at how she still didn't call me by my name.

"As your Ashikabi has said, I am No. 98, Zenkichi," the dog Sekirei said, slipping into a fighting stance that seemed to be familiar.

"I'm Number 88, Musubi!" my shrine girl declared joyfully. "Let's fight well!"

And then, there was no more time for words, as the battle began.

...

Before you ask, yes, Zenkichi's number was a deliberate choice.


	4. Chapter 4 Neverwinter In Flight

AN: My mind takes me to strange places sometimes...

**Neverwinter In Flights**

Really, I had been hoping for a mostly uneventful journey from my home in the sleepy village of Fuyuki to the big city of Shin Tokyo. I mean, I knew from my foster father, Kiritsugu, that the road was dangerous and I would likely see more than my share of combat before the trip was over, but I hadn't expected to get involved in a fight so soon. To be fair, it was my own fault; I've never been able to ignore someone in trouble.

I had been walking past the Weeping Willow Inn, minding my own business, considering the possibility of staying for a night, when I saw three men surrounding a young woman. With a frown on my face, I stepped closer to see what was going on.

"So, why did you say those things back in there anyway? Was it because you want to fight?" the young woman asked. Looking closer, I could see that she had dark brown hair of a medium-short length, with a long antennae-like extension sticking out. Her outfit was...interesting, to say the least, with a robe-like white top and a red ruffled short skirt. It did not escape my notice that she was rather, er, _developed_, to put it mildly. Of course, my attention was more drawn to the fact that she was preparing to fight all three men on her own...and for some reason, seemed _happy_ about it?

"You're a brave one to be taking this road by yourself, little lady. Maybe you've come looking for trouble...unless you have a little coin to convince us otherwise." the apparent leader of the trio sneered. I briefly sized him up: late 30's to early 40's, rather dirty, slightly drunk. All in all, a rather non-descript farmer, and his companions weren't any better.

So it was a mugging, was it? At least I hoped that's all it was. Either way, I ought to make my presence known.

"What are you all arguing about?" I asked in an attempt at a disarming tone, as I sauntered up to the group.

"Nothing that concerns you... this is between us and the woman. And whatever coin she happens to have with her," the man turned his glare on me. I stared back at him, clearly unimpressed.

"Ah, you're welcome to try it, if you're game. You can't be frightened of one little girl, can you? If you're afraid of being humiliated in front of the stranger here, well, that's another matter." the woman said sweetly. At that, I had to wonder how much of her apparent vulnerability and innocence was feigned, or if she really was that stupidly honest.

Well, I guess I couldn't complain, since I had my own share of idiotic honesty.

"We're not frightened of either of you, and it seems to me like you need a lesson," The man growled in an attempt to sound dangerous.

I frowned. Things were quickly spiraling out of control, thanks to the woman who seemed to be going out of her way to antagonize her aggressors. "You have her outnumbered," I pointed out, hoping to at least make things easier for her, "This isn't a fair fight."

My hopes were, as was quickly becoming par for the course, dashed by the "victim" herself. "Outnumbered?" she said to herself, tilting her head with a finger on her chin, appearing to think it over. "Well, I suppose they could bring some more friends if they wanted, that might even things out a bit."

"This matter is between us and the woman here, it's none of your concern," the man snarled, and I could tell that he was close to attacking me along with her.

"Come on, someone try to hit me already," she pouted. "Even the newcomer here sees that you're all too afraid to do anything."

"All right, I've heard enough of this!" he finally snapped. "Let's deal with the girl, and her new friend." At that, the three of them pulled steel, obviously intending more than simple bodily harm

I sighed, drawing the two short swords that seen me through my time defending Fuyuki.

It wasn't much of a fight, to be honest. What really surprised me though, was that, after I made short work of the guy that had been sent toward me, I had gone over to the young woman, intending to help her, only to discover that she had been crazy enough to take two armed men head on, using nothing more than her bare fists.

And _won._

"Well now, that was a good fight! A shame they had to resort to weapons, but if they have to keep the odds even, I can't blame them too much," She said in an altogether-too-cheerful voice. She glanced down at the short swords in my hands, and seemed to hastily ammend herself. "Oh! N-Not that there's anything wrong with people who wield weapons!"

"It's okay," I said soothingly. "They're the ones that brought knives to a fist fight in the first place."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she rubbed the back of her head in a somewhat familiar gesture. "My name's Musubi, by the way, of the clan Ironfist! I've been making my way along the Coast for some time now, and stopped in the Willow here for a brief fight." She smiled and held her hand out for me to shake.

I raised my eyebrow at how nonchalant she was about the whole thing, but accepted it anyway. "I'm Shirou Emiya. You seem pretty calm, considering those men wanted to kill you."

"Yeah, it's a shame," she said, sounding rather disappointed. "I was just looking to trade a few good punches, then share a drink when it was all done. Either way, they'd get my coin, the way I see it," she shrugged.

I looked down at the men on the ground. Two of them, including the leader, were lying down unconscious and with what looked like several broken bones. The third...well, the less said about him, the better. "They don't look like they'll be waking for a drink anytime soon," I said dryly.

"Doesn't matter, they weren't worthy of a drink anyway, bringing blades into it," she scowled rather cutely. "A friendly brawl I would have been up for, but robbery with weapons?" She shook her head, as if trying to physically shake out her thoughts. "So, tell me, what brings you out along the Mere? The roads aren't exactly safe, you know, and they're getting worse all the time."

I debated internally for a bit about whether or not to tell her, before deciding that she seemed trustworthy enough. The impression I'd had of her so far was of a rather straightforward person. "I'm on my way to Shin Tokyo." At this, she perked up.

"It's your lucky day then; I happen to be traveling to Shin Tokyo as well."

"Really? Why are you going there?"

"Now _that's_ a tale. Glad you asked. But, this isn't exactly the best place to swap stories. I say we step inside the Weeping Willow and share our stories over a few of the innkeepers best."

-Break-

"So, to sum everything up, I take pride in what I do: fighting! It's something you can't get enough of, and it's something where there's always room for improvement, if you apply yourself, stay focused, and keep swinging!"

I stared at the girl as two things made themselves abundantly clear: One, I was dealing with a total battle maniac. It would have been completely unnerving to see such a cheerful girl obsessed with fighting, if not for my years of service in the militia. Instead, it was merely slightly creepy.

Two, no matter how much she ate and drank, it had little to no effect on her figure. I honestly think that was more disturbing than even her tales of the many brawls she'd been in.

"And that's why I'm heading for Shin Tokyo. I hear there's a house of monks there, a... monastery, right? Heard they'll train anyone if they ask. Couldn't ask for a better opportunity!"

I latched on to that last bit, trying to sort out what I should say. "You want to become a monk?"

"Yep!" she chirped.

I stayed silent for a few moments, trying to figure out how best to phrase my question, until I decided to just go out and ask. "_Why?_"

"Well, uh, as it happens, I didn't _always_ want to be a monk, you see, what happened was—"

Sadly, she never finished that sentence (though I did get the story out of her later), as a bunch of creatures burst through the door. I recognized them as dark dwarves and some spiked beings that Brother Kotomine called bladelings.

I recognized them because they were the creatures that attacked and partially destroyed Fuyuki.

"The _Kalach-Cha_! Find it!" the lead bladeling hissed.

"Oh boy, Shirou-san!" I looked over at Musubi, and she looked like a child that had been given lots of candy. "Our next round of practice has arrived!"

As she leapt into the fray, I glanced over my shoulder to my bag, in which the silver shard my foster father asked me to carry lay. I sighed. One thing's for sure, I thought, as I pulled out my short swords once more. My life would never be the same again.

...

Why, yes, I did turn Musubi into the battle-crazy dwarf from Neverwinter Nights 2. It was either her or Karasuba, and Musubi's the one that uses fists.


	5. Chapter 5 Go Go Super Sekirei Squad!

This is going to be weird. Extremely weird. But I will not apologize for it. Besides, it _is_ the kind of idea that Musubi would come up with.

Also, for the record, I adore alliteration.

00000000000000000000

**Go Go, Super Sekirei Squad!**

000000000000000000000

"Hey, Homura, I was thinking…" Musubi began.

"_There's_ a surprise," Tsukiumi muttered under her breath.

The pseudo-shrine girl gave no impression that she had heard the insult against her. Instead, all of her focus was on the former host. "Shirou-san has winged 7 Sekirei: You, me, Akitsu, Tsukiumi, Matsu, Kuu-chan, and Kazehana. Except, since Matsu said she isn't suited for fighting, and Kuu-chan is too little for that, it's more like there's 5 of us, right? So, I got an idea when…"

I was only half-listening at best to the conversation happening around the dinner table as we awaited the meal that was sure to come soon. I was more preoccupied with glaring at the kitchen where Miya was happily cooking. It had been approximately a week since the day after the ambush, which Matsu had taken to calling the "info-dump day" for whatever reason, and I had still not been allowed to return to cooking yet. This was obviously a point of contention for me, and I was desperate to return to one of the few places I truly felt completely at ease.

"…looked so cool! Uzume could probably make or get us costumes like them, and…"

It wasn't as if I hadn't tried to cook anyway; it's just that, no matter what I did, Miya would thwart my every attempt. The morning after, I had woken up early like I usually did, and dashed down the stairs, hoping to be the first one there. Unfortunately, Miya had predicted that I would do so, and had apparently woken up even earlier in order to make sure that she was already in the kitchen, with a smile on her face. Each day, my attempts slowly got more and more outlandish as I got more and more desperate. One of my more recent plans had required me to project Enkidu, the chain capable of binding gods and worked better the more divine its target was, which Gilgamesh had used to restrain Berserker, and use it on the landlady. _That_ had failed quite spectacularly, as, though it did succeed in chaining her for a while, she managed to distract me from my goal by teasing me thoroughly with claims that I had "succumbed to my lascivious urges" and had decided to "tie her up like Takehito did so that I could have my way with her". While I was blushing deeply and frantically trying not to picture the wild debauchery that was being described to me in extremely graphic detail, she was using her inhuman strength and skill to free herself, using tales of her adventurous bedroom exploits with her late husband to keep me from noticing until it was too late.

It took me more than a day before I could look Miya in the eye without turning a deep crimson, and I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to look at rope, or several other household objects, the same way again.

"…and Homura would have to wear red because he uses fire, and fire is red! And since he would be wearing red, that makes him the leader!"

Maybe for my next try, I should go out my bedroom window and scale down the outside wall, using swords as climbing tools? No, then I'd have to break in through the window, and someone might mistake me for a burglar. That and I might be forced to fix any damage my blades would cause to the building in addition to everything else I needed to repair. Whatever I decided, I should do it soon, or else I would lose my hold upon the kitchen, possibly forever, and—

Wait, _what_?

"Huh?" I uttered dumbly, as I finally wrested my gaze away from the utopia of utensils and looked at the assorted aliens for the first time since we had gathered in the room. Perhaps I should have paid closer attention to the conversation, so I would have had a better understanding of Musubi's train of thought.

On the other hand, considering how distorted she was, maybe it would have made just as much sense as it did at the moment.

"Ah, Shirou-san! We were just discussing everybody's roles in the group!" Musubi turned to me, apparently ecstatic that I might contribute my opinion on her chosen topic.

"Roles?" I repeated somewhat dumbly, noting that I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I searched my memory for any snatches of what had been said for clues as to what she meant. "You mean like for combat?" At the bear Sekirei's eager nod, I relaxed slightly, mulling over her suggestion.

Putting Homura in a sort of "team leader" position did make a certain amount of sense. There might be a need to establish some kind of chain of command when it came to combat, in case I wasn't nearby to issue orders. Of my flock's five fighters, the only one who was more experienced than him was Kazehana, a member of the original Disciplinary Squad. The others were unsuited for such a role: Tsukiumi, though powerful, was inexperienced and proud, which could easily be the death of us. It was also possible that, if placed in a leadership role, she might freeze up; she took her responsibilities very seriously, after all, and being responsible for the lives of her fellow flockmates might be too much for her to make quick decisions. Akitsu was loyal, but rarely showed initiative on her own, and even when she did, it usually involved protecting or assisting me in some way, and being able to make decisions without me would be the point of having a leader in the first place. She would probably never leave my side in combat unless I ordered her to, anyway.

The less said about how I thought Musubi would fare in such a role, the better.

Of the two most capable members, Homura was probably the better choice. He was my first winged Sekirei, and even though our sleep and work cycles had kept us from interacting much at first, I still knew him pretty well. He seemed to be pretty smart, as shown by his skill in blending in with ordinary humans, as well as his knowledge of human history. Although he hadn't had experience in the Disciplinary Squad's bloody past like Kazehana, he had protected unwinged Sekirei for quite some time. He was definitely strong; the shed and the Sekirei he had fended off during our first encounter with the East were both evidence of that. Most importantly, he was on good terms with all of my flock. The only exception was Tsukiumi, who I knew had viewed him as a rival for a while before I met either of them, and even she had gotten better about it.

Compare to Kazehana, who, though more cunning than her flighty attitude would suggest and quite skilled in the use of her power, had managed to somewhat alienate half of her fellow fighters in less than two days, and, though I was sure she was perfectly capable of acting professionally when the situation called for it, might try to use any strategy meetings I had with her as an excuse to have her honeymoon.

All in all, Musubi's suggestion was a surprisingly sensible one. Still, there was one thing I didn't quite understand.

"Having Homura as the group leader is a good idea," I finally nodded in agreement, "But what does the color red have to do with being a leader?" I knew it was often viewed as being a "manly" color, but other than that…

"Oh right, you weren't listening when I was telling everyone else! I got the idea from some TV shows, where there were five people, sometimes joined by a sixth person, all wearing colorful costumes and sometimes having special powers! And the leader almost always wears red!" Musubi babbled, not noticing the way I stared at her in growing suspicion, "So I asked Uzume if she could get us some costumes like those, and she said yes! I even know what everyone's colors would be! Homura would be red because he uses fire, Tsukiumi would be blue because she uses water, Akitsu would be white because she uses ice, Kazehana would be yellow because somebody has to be yellow, and I would be pink, because pink is the color of LOVE!" At this, she threw both her fists in the air in a familiar gesture. "And if Kuu-chan ever gets big enough to join us, she can be green because of her plant powers!" Said green girl beamed at the fact that she was being thought of.

I, however, did _not_ smile. I was too busy thinking over several key words in her explanation, words that added up to only one, horrifying conclusion.

"Musubi," I said, hoping beyond hope that I was wrong, "did any of these shows involve combining robots?"

"Yes, Shirou-san! Have you seen them too?" she asked excitedly.

I was not wrong.

I had hoped I would never have to use this directly on the poor shrine girl, but someone had to stop her before she got too far.

"Musubi," I glared, as the air darkened around me, and she finally seemed to realize that she had done something wrong, "turning your fellow Sekirei into a Super Sentai team is _**FORBIDDEN!**_"


	6. Chapter 6 Mobile Fighter G Sekirei

You know, I'm having a lot of fun writing Musubi. I don't know why.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Mobile Fighter G Sekirei**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I watched patiently as Musubi fought her opponent. I had kissed her beforehand, so that she could get the passive power-up that was produced in preparation for their most powerful attack. Her moves were blazing fast and I could tell that if her punches connected, there could be some serious damage.

And yet it wouldn't be enough. Her opponent was simply too skilled, though she was definitely being pressured. Even the beautiful bear girl could tell that she needed to step up her game. So, she paused for a moment, nodded to herself, then crashed her fists together.

"The fists of my pledge, crush the catastrophe before my Ashikabi!"

I smiled. That's right, Musubi! When your regular attacks aren't enough, end it decisively with your Norito!

"These fists of mine glow with an awesome power!"

What.

"Their burning grip tells me to defeat you!"

Don't tell me she's…

"Take this! My anger, my sorrow, and all of my LOVE!"

Wait a minute, is that…?

"SHINING… BEAR FIST… FINGEERRRRRRRRRRRRR! Go! Go! GO!"

The shrine girl Sekirei threw three punches, in time with her. Two of them were feints, made in order to catch her foe off guard. The third was driven into her middle with all of her strength.

And in the process, she blew a hole in the stomach of her opponent.

As the other power type alien fell to the ground, a Level 4 at the very least, my fist fighter scratched her head sheepishly.

"Ehehehehe… Oops?"

I stared as Musubi was declared the winner. Later, I would lecture her at length about how much force was excessive. Later, I would tell her that she shouldn't copy things she sees on TV.

But for now, all I could think about was that, for a moment…

Her hand really was shining.


	7. Chapter 7 Meet the Asura

AN: Man, it's been a while since I've written something. Anyway, I know it's not the promised "My Landlady Can't Possibly Be This Cute!", but someone put this idea out there, and it just spoke to me. Keep in mind, I know almost nothing about Sanada, or his part of town, other than the fact that he is almost exactly like Seo, so I'm going to be taking some liberties. If Shirou seems a bit out of character, keep in mind, he's trying to make a scary impression on Sanada. And before anyone asks, I did the research, and it turns out that Guinness is in fact sold in Japan, so Shirou asking for some isn't unreasonable. So, without further ado, here we go!

000000000000000

**Meet the Asura**

000000000000000

"Are you sure this is the place?"

"_I'm positive, Shirou-tan! Unless he's without any of his Sekirei, this is where the Ashikabi of the West is currently located!_"

I looked at the building in front of me. The sign overhead proclaimed the place to be "McAnally's Pub". Somehow, despite being part of Shin Tokyo, it seemed more run down than the rest of the city. Actually, a good deal of the western region of Shin Tokyo could fit that description. Given that, it didn't seem all that surprising anymore that the biggest Ashikabi in this part of town was a biker.

I looked to my side where Akitsu was standing. Originally, I wanted to go alone, but my flock would have none of that. I managed to talk Homura down from almost everyone going when I told him that this was intended to be a diplomatic mission and not a war party, and it would therefore be impolite to show up with more Sekirei than him, especially when several of them were single digits. He then asked if that meant I was not going to use my swords. I told him no, I was, since I was planning on using medieval diplomacy, which is when everyone tends to be more diplomatic when you're the one with a sword.

I don't think he was amused.

I told Akitsu beforehand that I was planning on using my Asura mask and that she couldn't show any fear as long as we were there. She said she understood and would not show any.

I peered through the window, where I confirmed that, yes, Sanada was at the bar, and carefully Reinforced my ears to try and hear what was being said.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"_But Master," Kujika glanced at Sanada worriedly, "what about what that Seo guy said? About how an Asura or something would kill you if you went after lolis in the North?"_

"_Eh," Sanada threw back his drink in a single gulp, "he was probably blowing smoke out of his ass. Hell, I bet a lot of those rumors about the North are overblown, to try and keep people away. Besides, who the hell could hope to stop me?"_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well, if that wasn't a straight line, then my name wasn't Shirou Emiya.

Now, most people if they wanted to look like a badass would at this point kick the door down. If I was anyone else, I might have even used a Reinforced elbow to break it open. But I was a polite sort, so I simply opened the door like a normal person.

I did, however, make a point to slam it into the wall. I was trying to get Sanada's attention, after all.

I threw Kanshou, a gleaming black blur as it arced through the air. It sunk into the wood of the bar, less than 5 centimeters from the hand holding Sanada's drink. Before he could snap out of his shock and do something stupid like trying to fight me with that sword, I walked over to him and put a hand on the hilt.

And then I summarily ignored him.

"I'll have a beer. Guinness, if you've got it."

The bartender nodded, then turned to my right. "You, miss?"

"Ah." Akitsu had sat down next to me, as I expected. "The same."

The bartender simply grunted and shuffled off to find some. Sanada seemed to finally break out of his stupor.

"Who the hell are you?"

"After I get my drink," I replied.

This went on for a bit while I waited, him steadily getting more belligerent and me tuning him out the entire time. Eventually, the bartender came back with two beers and set them in front of Akitsu and myself. I took a sip of mine. It was the perfect temperature. Next to me, Akitsu also took a sip, and apparently liked the flavor, as she then took another. I then turned my attention back to Sanada, and noted that he seemed to very angry.

"…Stop ignoring me while I'm talking to you, dammit! So fucking rude. Who the hell do you think I am?"

"I think you the hell are Nishi Sanada, the Ashikabi of the West. I think you the hell are a biker with no set residence or employment. And I know you have three Sekirei, Number 89, Kujika, Number 93, Kuzuri, and Number 106, Shijime," I said in as bland a tone of voice I could manage.

Sanada reeled back as if physically struck. "How the fuck did you know all that?"

"You'd be surprised what you can learn if you know who to ask," I said as seemingly disinterested as before. I took another sip of my beer and laid it back down on the bar. "Now then…" my voice started to take a harder edge.

"You wanted to know who I was. I have many names. My clients know me as a repairman that can fix almost any appliance, no matter how old. In some circles I am known as the Ashikabi of the North." At this, I could see that a few of the people there tensed, likely either Ashikabi themselves or Sekirei. "On the forums, rumors call me the Ashikabi of Two Swords." Now they were starting to become visibly scared. Good. Time to give them one more reason to fear me. "But you can call me…" Darkness gathered as I prepared to summon my demon mask.

"…The Asura."

_It could only be described as a nightmare._

_The __**thing**__ came from behind the man. It was cloaked in darkness and was full of malice. It was clearly visible, yet heavily shadowed. Blood poured from all six of its eyes and in each arm was a blood-stained sword._

_It was not a phantom. It was not an illusion. It was not even a really fucking scary demon. No, this was __**DEATH**__, pure and simple._

_The sound of wooden block clacked rhythmically, each hit sounding like a death knell. A ghostly wail bubbled up, which made Sanada want to rip his ears off so that they would never hear such a horrid noise again._

_He wanted to scream, but his voice wouldn't speak. He wanted to run away, but his legs wouldn't move. He wanted to cry, but his tears wouldn't come._

'_I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonna__**dieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'MGONNADIE!**__'_

_And then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the specter vanished._

I took the opportunity to take a swig of my drink.

"Now that we know who the other is, how about we get down to business?"

"Business?" I have to give him credit, his voice barely cracked at all. "You mean you wanna make a deal?"

"No." And I looked him in the eyes. He flinched a little.

"This is not a negotiation. It is not a suggestion, not a trade, not a petition, not an agreement, not a compromise, not a surrender. It is not even a threat. It's a _warning._"

"A…warning?"

"You see, I saw your match today. It was very interesting in many respects. However, there was one part in particular that caught my attention. How Seo's "spitfire loli" boss was just your type."

"Um," Sanada gulped, "in my defense, I had no idea you even existed when I said that."

"Fair enough," I replied. "But actually that's not why I'm here."

"It's…not?" Color was starting to come back to his face. It seemed like he was starting to gain hope that I wasn't here to potentially harm him.

"No. I just thought you might want to know that particular loli happens to be none other than the Devil Ashikabi."

"The…The Devil Ashikabi? You mean, the one who…" Sanada trailed off uncomfortably.

"Yes," I smirked, though on the inside I was facepalming. Even one of the three Great Ashikabi knows about Yukari's antics? "My sister seems to have made quite a name for herself."

"Man, if I'd known who she was, I never would have been interested in…your…sister?" Whatever color had managed to return to his complexion promptly fled as his face gained an expression of dawning horror.

Good. It seemed that he knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

"It seems like you have an idea of what I'm going to say next. Then I don't have to tell you that if you touch a hair on my sister's head, you are going find yourself a foot shorter."

He nodded, then muttered, "Damn, the bloodthirsty Ashikabi of Swords and the crazy Devil Ashikabi are brother and sister? What kind of fucked up parents did you have?

_Hiroto Minaka was immune to the sneezing effect. He had to be, as he was a man with power, and thus was often talked about. His nose, however, did twitch a little._

_Meanwhile, elsewhere in MBI headquarters, Takami Sahashi sneezed in the middle of an experiment, thus dooming several hapless technicians nearby, while leaving her perfectly safe, as she had a name._

I snorted. "It doesn't matter. But I trust we understand each other?"

"And what if I don't care? What if I decide to take you on? You may be tough, sure, but you're still only one man. We've got several Sekirei here and you only have one. What's stopping me from taking you down right now?"

He may have only been trying to save face, but he had a point. Not that I'd say that to his face, it would only encourage him. Instead, I tapped my beer bottle idly, and looked as if I were deep in thought. "Did you know that if you kill an Ashikabi, any Sekirei bonded to them is deactivated?" I said in a conversational tone. I paused for a moment to let my words sink in. He looked at my sword, which was still very close to him. He looked back at me with not a little bit of dread. I smiled. "Just something to think about."

I finished off my Guinness and got up, pulling Kanshou out of the wood. "Let's go, Akitsu."

I heard a rustle and a clinking of chains. "Yes, Ashikabi-sama." I didn't need to look to know that she had taken up her customary position behind me. I glanced at where she had been sitting, and noted that her beer was also empty. I paid for our drinks and left, confident that Sanada knew what not to do.

_A second after the door closed, Sanada sagged in his stool, no longer able to stop himself from trembling in fear. That had been close. Very close._

"_Kujika," he spoke softly._

"_Yes, Master?" came the muffled reply, from where the Sekirei in question was clutching him for comfort._

"_If I ever do something that stupid again, punch me."_

**Meet the Asura Brick Joke Alternate Ending**

I finished off my Guinness and got up, pulling Kanshou out of the wood. "Let's go, Akitsu."

I turned and stopped, not sure whether I should sigh, groan, or palm my face. I settled for a combination of all three.

I'm not sure whether it was because she liked the flavor or because she wanted to cover up her fear from my projection, but whatever the reason, it seemed that while I was still talking to Sanada, she kept on drinking beer. She now had a few bottles in front of her and seemed to be trying to stack them into a pyramid or a house of bottles. Her task was of course somewhat hampered by how much she'd had to drink.

As the pile collapsed, she turned to me with a dopey smile and giggled. "Yes, Shirou-sama," she said with a slight slur.

My mind pretty much froze right there. _Akitsu + giggling = DOES NOT COMPUTE_.

"Shirou-sama?"

I refocused my attention, only to see Akitsu staring at me, as usual. Except, for some reason, this stare seemed different than the ones she usually gave me. Even with my usual skill at discerning her moods from slight cues, I couldn't read her expression at all.

"Yes?" I tried my best not to gulp.

She then gave me a serious expression, like she was psyching herself up for something. "No fear!" she exclaimed, throwing one hand up in the air in a way that reminded me very much of Musubi.

And then she gave me a sloppy kiss on the lips.

As her wings of ice formed, I suppressed another sigh. Yeah, this was going to be fun to explain to the others.


End file.
